Well, it finally happened. Today, Marvel Comics' series writer Jason Aaron announced that Thor, the once mighty god of thunder, will now be portrayed as a tall, blonde, amazonian goddess. The move comes along with a steady stream of alterations throughout the extensive Marvel Universe. For example, Wolverine's claws will now be press-on nails, Tony Stark's mustache is now out of the closet, and Professor X is apparently gay soccer buddies with Magneto:
Comcast is in a heap of trouble this week after a clever customer recorded an obscene exchange between himself and an unruly, not to mention openly hostile Comcast service rep. It turns out the rep in question was none other than Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.
When asked for his side of the story, Triumph responded "I thought the call went very well, it was great, it was great....for me to poop on!"
Also in entertainment, Saturday Night Live is licking it's rancid wounds this evening following the abrupt departure of no less than three of it's main cast members. When reached for comment one former cast member explained that the move was merely a positive career choice, stating, "We didn't want to end up like John Belushi, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman, Gilda Radner, Charles Rocket, Michael O'Donoghue, Danitra Vance, or Garrett Morris." "Wait, dude, Garrett Morris isn't dead," "He might as well be dude, he might as well be."
The State of California is set to begin issuing steep fines on residents found to be wasting water during it's heavy drought season. In addition to the new fines, the State will also be imposing a 18¢ tax on bubble blowing, and licenses will be required for those carrying Supersoakers. Supersoaker rights activists opposed the measure stating that it deprives them of their constitutional right to spray their friends in the back of the head and then run around the other side of the house.
Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa is facing backlash over his longtime ownership of a dilapidated home located in sunny Moreno Valley, California. Neighbors have complained for years about the awful state of the property, but it wasn't until they found out who the prestigious owner happened to be that the matter received any attention. Villaraigosa has since sold the property, hoping to avoid any further political fallout. Unfortunately, local residents were not appeased, in fact they were all the more enraged upon meeting the newest addition to their block:
No comments:
Post a Comment