This week in technology, IBM has unveiled a groundbreaking micro-processing platform that can effectively mimic the rodent brain, specifically that of a mouse. Experts say the new system could be used to build "hyper-smart" cellphones and other useful devices. However, the implementation of even a fledgling AI program has definitely raised some ethical reg flags within the scientific community. World renowned physicist Stephen Hawking issued a somewhat ominous question, asking "Exactly what kind of brain are we building here?"
Fertility specialists have recently published a finding that suggests freezing eggs can significantly lower birthrates through in vitro fertilization. Apparently, experts with the Foster Farms Fertility Clinic in Santa Fe, New Mexico, came upon the discovery during one of their routines quality spot checks.
Presidential campaign underdog Jeb Bush is unfortunately in the hot seat this week after it was discovered that a prominent pro-Bush super PAC sent out approximately 86,000 mailers featuring the candidate's head photoshopped onto a black man's body. The image drew immediate condemnation from black community leaders, calling for a formal apology from the candidate. In an uncharacteristically brutish manner, Bush responded by saying "I pity the fool who tries to paint Jeb Bush as a racist."
"I'm so happy I could eat a black person."
Meanwhile, during a recent campaign event in Mobile, Alabama, presidential front-runner Donald Trump greeted approximately 20,000 supporters as they packed into the Leed Pebbles Stadium, all waiting for a taste of the Donald's special brand of socially retarded rhetoric that they've come to love so much. Much of Trump's success has been credited to his close community organizing and quick coalition building. Below he can be seen addressing a local delegate from the Young Republican Cannibals Committee.
"I'm so happy I could eat a black person."
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