Counter-terrorism experts are somewhat befuddled over the extraordinarily odd selection of books and magazines seized from the Attatobad compound that once served as a safe-house to world famous terror broker Osama bin Laden. Among the material cataloged by investigators were works covering subjects such as global economics, regional military history and strangely enough, video game strategy. Several of these guides were found among bin Laden's most accessible tomes, this supposedly due to a deep interest in several modern warfare game titles, not to mention a few of the classics. Here we clearly see the profound effect that Super Pitfall© had on the siege at Tora Bora:
Anthony Brutto began his journey through the world of higher education in 1936, pursuing a degree in engineering from the University of West Virginia. As fate would have it, young Brutto would be sent to fight in the European theater at the onset of World War II, effectively putting his scholastic pursuits on hold. Now, at the ripe old age of 94, the veteran and father has at last earned his long sought after diploma. When asked what took so long, the graduate cited a series of setbacks which caused his life to derail time and again, perpetually putting off his academic career with no end in sight. However, those close to Anthony say he had simply become fixed in campus life and naturally found it very hard to break away.
A stupid Floridian has made a total ass of himself this week after a misdirected fit of rage not only landed him with substantial auto-repair costs, but also a possible stint in the county jail. After a heated argument over bad business dealings, Ryan T. Smith exited a former friend's residence to retrieve a steel crowbar from the trunk of his car. Smith then proceeded to bash the frame and windows of a vehicle which happened to be parked outside the former friend's home. Unfortunately, the vehicle belonged to a next-door neighbor who found himself angered and confused upon discovering the destructive scene. The nature of the incident does, of course, beg the following question: Does Walter imitate life, or does life imitate Walter?
In the glamorous high stakes world of professional poker, man has officially bested machine this week. Competitors from around the country converged on Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh to go head to head with their resident card shark "Claudicio," a highly sophisticated computer program capable of engaging up to four players at a time while calculating complex real-time stratagems to crush it's opponents. Unfortunately, the artificial contender fell far short of developers' expectations, ultimately allowing the humans to obtain a cumulative lead of about $730,000 over just 3 days. Technicians who commented after the match said that while the current results are disappointing, they will press on. Early reports indicate the team is are already grooming a far more worthy challenger.
Massachusetts based radio station WRKO announced today that it will be dropping The Rush Limbaugh Show from its regular daytime lineup. According to industry insiders, Limbaugh had become extremely bad for business, with many advertisers simply refusing to be associated with his name. WRKO did not disclose where they plan to drop Limbaugh, but it is believed he will be unloaded somewhere over the Serengeti.
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