Today in Headlines - Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Boehner plans to file suit against the Obama administration over abuse of executive power.  Yeah, he's got 66 years of completely ineffective legal precedent to back him up.

Maliki pulls in his remaining guard as part of a desperate move to shield his crumbling power structure from the hammer-jack jack-hammering of the opposition forces.  Hey, buddy, remember what happened in Saigon?  I'd get to the tarmac now, there will be a lot fewer people to climb over.

The Supreme Court decides police can't search your smartphone without a warrant (but they can still burn your infant children with flash-bang grenades).  Geez, I wonder what they're going to do with all those "secret" Stingray interceptors the federal government wants you to know nothing about.  I guess they can always trade them in for more flash-bang grenades.

On a similar note, what did the elderly white veteran (John Wrana, Jr.) say to the elderly black veteran (Kenneth Chamberlain, Sr.) after being shot to death by police in his own home and then floating up to heaven in a cartoon-like fashion?  "Ow, that fuckin' hurt!"

And lastly, North Korea threatens war over "The Interview," starring Seth Rogan and James Franco. Apparently they're already loading rotten tomatoes into their long range missile launchers.

That's the day in news, check back for more utter ridiculousness later on.